


How Do I Deal?

by thecarlonethatalsowrites



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Gen, based on tumblr headcanons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-21
Updated: 2015-06-21
Packaged: 2018-04-05 12:33:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4180023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecarlonethatalsowrites/pseuds/thecarlonethatalsowrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are a lot of headcanons floating around that Mattie is a bear and that she killed Laura's mother, this is how Laura finds out and deals with it</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Do I Deal?

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at three am, don't judge me

She didn't mean to eavesdrop. It was the reporter in her that made her stay and listen. No, it was Matska's fault. She still dropped by their residence occasionally, sometimes to threaten them, sometimes to visit with Carmilla. Laura let Carmilla deal with the head of the board during her sporadic visits. Laura certainly didn't want to; there was a limit to the number of death threats a girl could handle in one day.

But this time was different. Usually Matska would stay for just a few minutes, sometimes more if she was visiting with Carmilla. Laura was upstairs with Perry and LaFontaine when the three of them heard Carmilla shout a warning that her sister was there. She heard the door open, then thunk close, and heard Matska laughing loudly. Then the two vampires moved deeper into the house and Laura could no longer eavesdrop from the top of the stairs as she sometimes (always) did when Matska was over. She could usually hear everything they said, as they never moved from the bottom of the stairs which was right by the door.

"I don't like it." She grumbled to LaFontaine and Perry.

"Neither do I, but I like not being in fear of my life more, so I'm not going to confront them." LaFontaine shrugged as they continued to go through the files from the VOS. "Or at least more in fear of my life due to being in the same room as a blood thirsty vampire. Rather than in fear due to the demonic shenanigans that thankfully happen outside our home.

"That mostly happen outside our home." Perry huffed. A crash from downstairs prevented LaFontaine from replying and made all three of them jump.

"Maybe someone should go check on what's happening. Laura?" LaFontaine turned to her.

"Why me?"

"Because out of the three of us your bloodsucking girlfriend is most likely to protect you." They explained. "And I know that you're dying to find out what they're talking about." Perry nodded in agreement, so with a deep sigh Laura stood and carefully snuck down the stairs. Hearing no fight, she paused at the base of them.

"See look. Our true strength is enough to shatter glass like it's a dry leaf. Embracing our nature is so freeing! It's part of who we are." Matska said from the other room. "Sorry about the glass, by the way."

"I wasn't free for the longest time. Even when I did embrace what I am." Carmilla didn't verbally acknowledge the apology. Laura felt a twinge of sadness; Carmilla sounded so defeated. "I haven't killed anyone of my own free will since I escaped Maman's punishment. Why do you expect me to do so now?"

"Just because you won't choose to doesn't mean it won't happen. An accident can claim the life of a human so easily. We're basically ending their suffering."

"You can't believe that, can you?"

"Of course I do. Come on, you're telling me that you haven't killed anyone for fun? Lost control on purpose? Even when shifted?" Matska's voice turned dark and. Laura shivered. She didn't like where this conversation was going.

"Have you?" Carmilla snarled. At least she seemed offended at the thought.

"I've lost count!" She could hear the smirk in Matska's voice and had to cover her mouth with her hand to keep from reacting drastically. "Although I still have my favorite.  Let's see, fifteen years ago? Being a bear in the Styrian Alps has its perks. It was a hiking couple, the terror in her screams more than made up for him escaping. He tried to save her, but it was too late. And apparently revenge wasn't worth losing his life over- he had a sniveling kid to get back to. He chalked it up to a freak bear attack." At that Laura couldn't contain her horrified gasp. Matska's story was too familiar. She let out a shuddering breath as she walked into the room.

Instantly, Carmilla leapt to her feet. Matska stayed where she was, casually reclining in her chair as though she was telling a story about a day at the office, rather than how she brutally murdered a helpless woman.

"Laura what's wrong? You smell-"

"It was you." Laura said with a shaking voice, completely ignoring Carmilla. "You killed her."

"Well I just told a story about it, didn't I?" Matska said casually.

"Killed who Laura?" Carmilla asked. Laura was shaking with rage at that point and ignored her once again.

"You killed my mom! For fun!" She snarled she stepped closer to Matska, who blinked as though surprised that Laura could get so angry and leaned away from her. "What kind of...thing would do something like that?" Laura's hands balled into shaking fists as her world narrowed to the person who had taken her mother from her.

"It was nothing personal." The vampire said smoothly. "It didn't mean anything."

"It meant everything! Laura screamed. "You have no idea what that meant! She was my mother!" The whole time she was yelling Carmilla stood in silence. Laura inhaled deeply when she realized that she had come back into focus. Blurry focus, but focus none the less. She blinked, then sobbed. "I'm going to kill you if it's the last thing I do." She cried before bolting.

Laura ran out of the apartment, slamming the door as loudly as she could behind her. She ran without looking where she was going until finally she couldn't run anymore. Whether it was because of her tears or physical exertion she collapsed where she was before curling into a tight ball and sobbing her heart out. She didn't care where she was, only that the monster who took her mom away was currently sitting with Laura's girlfriend, probably having a laugh about how weak and human and insignificant she was. After fifteen years, the wound that losing her mother left had closed, but Matska Belmonde had torn that scar right back open with a few careless sentences. Like killing people and ripping families apart was nothing. That's all people like Laura, people like her mother, were to thinks like Matska. Things like Carmilla. They were nothing to them.

 

* * *

Laura woke up in a spare bedroom back at the apartment. At first she wondered why she wasn't in her own shared room with Carmilla, but then it all came rushing back. She sat up quickly, ignoring the rush to her head.

"Hey Sleeping Beauty." LaFontaine said. They were standing near the door with a glass of water in their hand. "I was wondering when you were going to wake up. And if you'd want some water when you did." Laura shook her head.

"How did I get back here?"

"Danny found you outside our old dorm building on her patrol. She carried you back here. You were a mess, Hollis. Well, are a mess."

"Do you know why?" Laura asked in a bitter tone.

"Yeah." They walked over and set the glass on the nightstand. "You're obviously not okay, but I'm going to ask anyway." She shook her head and LaFontaine instantly sat down on the bed. They hugged her tightly and Laura grabbed onto them like they were her only lifeline to the world.

"How can I face her Laf? Now that I know. How can I face either of them?" LaFontaine rubbed her back comfortingly.

"Carmilla went berserk when you ran out. Yelled at Matska for like ten minutes, fangs out and everything. We're not going to be bothered by her for a while, I think. Anyway, she stormed out yelling about how she had to find you before something happened to you. Before you got hurt. She's actually not back yet, probably either cooling off or still looking for you. We haven't been able to contact her." They informed her. "You wanna head downstairs? Perry's stress baking again." Laura nodded into their shoulder. The two of them made their way down.

"I'm sorry sweetie." Perry smiled briefly when they met her downstairs. Laura only gave her a sad look before settling on the sofa across from her. LaFontaine made Perry scootch over and squashed themselves into the chair next to her. They all sat in silence, waiting for something to break the tension.

That something turned out to be Carmilla, who plodded in an indeterminable amount of time later. She was soaked to the bone and looked miserable.

"I looked everywhere. I couldn't find..." She trailed off when she noticed her. "Laura!" Carmilla began to rush to her, but halted halfway across the room.

"We'll give you some space." Perry stood up. Even after all of the horrors she had endured since returning to Silas, she was still sensitive towards her friends, for which Laura was grateful. She dragged LaFontaine to the kitchen with her.

"Laura I had no idea what she'd done, and if I did I would have never let her anywhere near you. You have to believe me." Carmilla babbled.

"I do believe you." Laura said dully. Carmilla drew back in surprise. "It's not you that I'm mad at. I know you didn't know."she still did not look at her. Carmilla slowly waked over to the couch and knelt down so that they were face to face.

"She's not coming back." Laura nodded.

"I know." She finally turned to face her. She did the best she could to smile, but it was a feeble attempt. "It's ok Carm. This is Matska's fault."

"I know." Carmilla finally leaned forward and Laura enveloped her in a hug. It wasn't a hug that would fix things, but it was a damn good hug.


End file.
